It Does Me No Good

I know it does me no good,
but I wonder whatever happened to Rene in sixth grade
that slapped me off the bench in P.E.
and shredded my gym uniform with a razor blade,
the smell of her hatred
roiling off the streamers of red polyester.

I wonder what happened to the "man"
who raped me when I was thirteen.
He warned me not to tell
or everyone would know I was a whore.
I didn't tell.

I wonder what happened to the boyfriend
who choked me until I saw silverfish
in front of my eyes
in that stinky motel room in Desert Hot Springs.
It was almost funny-
the bruises on my throat
were the same size as the
cockroaches on the walls.

I wonder what happened to the Doctor
who told me when my daughter was born
with disabilities,
"oh, she'll be fine",
while another Doctor told me
"put her in an institution now,
before you get attached".

We made a break for it.
I'm very attached to her.

I don't need answers,
I just wonder sometimes.





© Copyright 2006 J. E. George (UN: goddesspoet at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.


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